Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
