i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
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I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
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I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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