Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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