That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
