I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
