woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
