I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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