legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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