The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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