I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
