Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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