I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
...so i touched it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize