you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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