12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
