If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize