I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
did you just send me my own nude
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
