she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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