So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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