I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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