Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
