Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize