Jerry, you need to find god
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
