eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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