That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
