Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
