This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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