brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
