Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
