I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You took a bar mat shot.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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