I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
