Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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