I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
