Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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