I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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