I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
