Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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