pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
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U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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