we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize