i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
