hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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