this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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