Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
