i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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