I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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