shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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