remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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