I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
