Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
