Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
