fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
