got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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