someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
