you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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