You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
