I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
