escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
