You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
