why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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